Your dinner's in the dog...

 

Back in June I was fairly dismissive of the view that Ronaldo owed  us anything. Later, I regarded the summer long transfer saga with Madrid as unfortunate yet inevitable following Ronny’s recent success. What I hadn’t counted on was how far from my affections for our no.7 would fall and it seems I’m not alone. I am now at the point where watching him trick and feint is becoming nauseating…

 

 

There’s a definite unease among supporters regarding Ronaldo. There were a lot of emotional wrecks last summer but I wasn’t one of them. I’m older you see, seen them come seen them go and they always fare worst when they’ve gone – this is the United rule, the only way is down when you leave, Sir Matt knew this, Sir Alex knows it, the fans know it.

What happened next was strange – with Ronnie’s change of heart I assumed it would be business as usual and that I’d just accept his return to the team with good grace but it seems I was wrong. I have now gone from having mixed feelings to openly wishing he’d left for Madrid to begin the long journey endured by every former United player that always ends in oblivion or not representing United as it is more widely known.

It’s a shame really. Ronaldo was such a dominant figure last season, he took centre stage in virtually every match (large or small) and became a source of pride for all of a red persuasion from his ability to take the piss on the pitch to his barely guarded contempt for the press off it. 43 goals, dozens of assists and a mountain of fawning press cuttings – if ever a player single-handedly won a double it was the Portuguese. He played so well that outstanding footballers such as Rooney and Tevez were demoted to the role of mere assistants. We forgot all about our lack of a ‘hold-it-up’ striker or the absence of a proper right-back, we didn’t need either with Ronnie out there.

Which is why it’s all the more frustrating watching the soon to be crowned ‘Best Player in the World’ wear a United shirt. Why do my guts turn over (and not in a good way) when he gets the ball? Why do his feints and tricks leave me cold? Am I just being a petulant bastard for wanting him away? Am I female? I know I should be Christian about it, forgive the fucker and get on with the season, except we all know it’s his last. Not only that but he’s playing in place of someone who could be a 100% proof red legend (Tevez, Nani) or already is (Giggs) or maybe somone we could have signed as replacement (Messi!).

So is there any way back for us and Ronnie or is it separate beds until next summer’s window re-opens?

I’ll admit now that this has nothing to do with his effort on the pitch, his fitness is returning and goals will inevitably flow and there’s no doubt that he’ll be our best player again this season. But that’s not nearly enough. I need an act of contrition, perhaps a few sweet nothings sprinkled with humility and a few portions of humble pie consumed before my eyes before I’ll think about being alright about it.

As far as I’m concerned he has done the footballing equivalent of wandering home at breakfast time with a nose full of Columbian Marching Powder having clearly stated that he’d be back after last orders. It’s tricky ‘cos he hasn’t been caught balls deep in the next door neighbour so it’s not a straight red – but a simple ‘I’m sorry’ doesn’t cover it either. He needs to do the washing-up for a week to convince me he’s sorry, either that or take all that shit to Stretford Tip before I feel like forgiving him.

I’m still not sure whether I can (sob)…